This I Believe...

This I believe... Have trust in the Lord, yourself, and others.



Growing up in a large Catholic family, I have always known I am never alone, I have grown up trusting the Lord, believing in myself, and putting trust in others.  Never has my belief been tested more than in the thirteen months I spent living and teaching in Suji, South Korea.



My Korean Air flight touched down in Seoul on the soupy, misty, cold night of January 12,  the tenth anniversary of my dear grandmother's death.  I could feel her presence, and could almost hear her whispering in my ear, "I'm proud of you, Brittany Ann. You can do this." I took a deep breath, slung my LL Bean travel bag over my shoulder and walked confidently off the plane. This confidence led me through customs and into the myriad of Koreans busily scurrying like ants around the airport. I could hear an unfamiliar buzz, the sound of language I did not understand.  I trusted I would find my job recruiter as soon as I passed though the doors.  I started to doubt this when I saw the sea of beautiful dark skin and ebony hair.  Thankfully, I was easy to spot. The hour ride from Seoul to Suji was filled with chit-chat about the weather, my flights, and what the next few days would bring.  I did my best to fight the jet lag and the thirteen hour time difference. My body was begging for sleep.  I felt as though I was in a foggy dream.  On the ride, I silently thanked God for Brandon and his kindness.  I can do this, I thought to myself. 


As I entered my new apartment I instantly knew the spacious two bedroom apartment I had fabricated in my mind was now more like the size of my kitchen in Maine.  I hid my surprise and disappointment and exclaimed how much I liked my new home.  Brandon graciously said good-night and shut the door.  And there I was.  Alone.  No phone. No food. No money.  I had my suitcase, my journal, and myself. I curled up into my scratchy twin bed sheets and I cried myself to sleep, convincing myself I had made the right decision. I ached to hear my mother's voice and her reassurance that this adventure was the right decision. I drifted off to sleep in prayer, praising God for this opportunity, and begging him for strength for me to get through the lonliness that filled my heart and spilled over into every fiber of my being.   The prayers that passed my lips were not the Our Father's and Hail Mary's I prayed as a child.  No, I was pleading and begging my Heavenly Father to hold me, to pull me close to him, and help me feel His Love.